how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
