i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you win again, gameday.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
