your parents love me but you hate me
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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