ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
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What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize