im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
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