I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Randomize
