Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
