You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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