I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
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Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
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I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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