Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize