I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
