lets start a swedish sibling band together
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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