Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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