i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
