The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
