am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
