dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
