$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Randomize