I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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