dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I want her autograph on my taint
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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