And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
