She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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