did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
