I accidentally had phone sex last night
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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