moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
