Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
