Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
