Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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