We're facebook friends in real life
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
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we're making bets on your personal life
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
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Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there