K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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