No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging