Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
