hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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