R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
