Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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