Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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