Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
