dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
