Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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