we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
