We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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