I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She bit a glass in half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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