My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
