They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize