But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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