I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
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Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
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In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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