When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
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i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
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I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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