Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
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I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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