I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
