It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
