There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
