I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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