my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize