I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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