last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
