You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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