Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize