Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
