all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
