am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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