we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I bet he comes in French.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
