So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
