ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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