i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
