it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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