He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
