Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
