It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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