Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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