just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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